H1Bs dilemma courting Permanent Residents in the U.S. in matrimony and the challenges Permanent Residents face in Matrimony ~ Newsletter for week ending
October 15, 2016
Dear Parents of Brides and Grooms the World Over:

My friend, Siva from London, sent me the following clipping of a News Article titled: 

"The desperation of H4 Indian housewives in the
 United States of America"

http://scroll.in/article/818171/the-desperation-of-indian-housewives-in-the-united-states-of-america

which makes an interesting reading and truly reflects "the desperation" of brides (and their Parents) from India seeking bridegrooms in the U.S. in matrimony.  Here are some excerpts from the above article:

EXCERPTS

........ And then there is the huge cohort of Indian women whose careers are unraveling far away from home – in the United States of America. In the worlds biggest economy, these women are unencumbered by many of the social challenges those in India often face. Yet, their professional lives are being cut short. The culprit is a class of visa that is almost "Victorian" in its restrictions.

Unwilling Housewives

India might be the worlds fastest-growing big economy, but living in the US remains one of the biggest aspirations of its middle-class. Indian men with white-collar jobs in the U.S.,  are therefore some of the most eligible bachelors in the country, often attracting women who are highly educated themselves.

Many of these men are in the US on a temporary work visa called the H1B – Indians receive nearly 70% of all H1B visas issued worldwide – and their spouses emigrate as H4 visa holders. The latter is a dependent visa and prohibits holders from working or starting a business in the US. They cant obtain a social security number either.

“When a wife enters the United States on a dependent spouse visa, under a H4, she enters at the wish of her husband. Her dependent visa status allows her husband to control her ability to live in the United States and all rights that stem from that status,” Sabrina Balgamwalla, an Assistant Law Professor at the University of North Dakota, writes in a paper on spousal visa holders titled  "Bride and Prejudice".

In other words, H4 visa holders, 90% of whom are women, are often reduced to childlike helplessness in a foreign country, (in the U.S.,) completely dependent on their partners for everything, from their social to economic needs.

According to some estimates, almost 80% of the 125,000 H4 visas in 2015 were granted to Indian passport holders. I spoke to over a dozen women who are either current or former H4 wives to understand the financial and psychological toll this forced career break takes.

Honeymoons dont last forever

But the honeymoon did not last long. “I could not work and I realized I did not have a sense of purpose. I realized life is not all about walking, exploring, or painting,” she says. Before her marriage, Damani was working at an advertising firm in Mumbai. “I could not even apply for an internship on this visa. I was a housewife, (and could) just do cooking and cleaning.”

The former model and business school graduate went on to make a documentary about her life on the H4, which can be found on YouTube. It begins with this heartbreaking line: “Independence ..... the very first thing I lost when I set foot in the land of the free.”

H4 - The Depression visa

“H4 visa – a curse” is a Facebook page with nearly 15,000 members. It documents the horror stories of women on dependent visas. The page was started in 2011 by Rashi Bhatnagar who moved to the US with her husband seven years ago.

Bhatnagar used to be a journalist in India but now feels that the “huge gap” in her career history would make it hard for her to get back into the news business at age 33. “Right now I am happy because I have a baby,” she told me. “But sometimes I feel a lot of time in my life has been wasted.” In her early days in the US, she used to attend three classes a day at the gym to keep herself busy.

Coming home

The H4 wives might consider returning to India which – with one of the lowest number of women in the workforce among G20 economies – needs them sorely.

But most women that I spoke to prefer not to. A chance at becoming middle-class American citizens, and the prestige it commands back home, is enough to make them stay back. Money, social freedom, and the needs of their husbands careers usually override their own desires.

“I did not want to deal with the social pressures that come with being married in India,” says Damani who carved out a happier life for herself by going to The New School in New York City and becoming a filmmaker. “Also, in the long run, it would help if my husband was here. He would make a lot more money.”

Others are more resigned. “On social media, Indians judge me for being greedy and wanting to live in the US,” says Bhatnagar. “I would love to come back to India, but now my life is her.

END OF EXCERPTS

While the brides from India seeking matrimony to those in the U.S., and those coming here in matrimony with a H4 status are going through their own desperation, those already in the U.S., with a H1B visa, L1, J1, G4, F1, and Permanent Residents (Green Card Holders), face their own dilemma and challenges in matrimony!  

I thought I would also share the "frustration" being faced by the brides in the U.S. on H1B visas in courting other H1B visa holders,  the U.S., Permanent Residents (Green Card Holders), and those on other visas such as L1, J1, F1, G4s.  One would imagine that once some one gets a Green Card, they can easily get married and get settled down in life, permanently ~  well, the Permanent Residents in the U.S. face their own dilemma. 

Why are Permanent Residents fighting shy of courting and marrying H1B visa holders in the U.S.?

Permanent Residents (Green Card Holders) are at a handicap and are limited in what they can do in matrimony with a number of USCIS immigration constraints placed on them:

a)  First, they cannot easily marry brides from India and quickly bring them over to the U.S. as the waiting time for the spouses to join their husbands under F2A is running 4-5 years, which the H1B-GC can do instantly, upon matrimony to brides from India.

b)   Second, Permanent Residents cannot easily court any H1B in the U.S. and marry them, as they have to watch out on the “longevity” or the expiration date of her H1B visa; they cannot file for her final I-485 until the Filing Date (to be) announced by the Department of State, at some point in the future, crosses her approval date of the filing of I-140. And this (I-140) they cannot file, until his matrimony to her!  And if her H1B expires before the filing date (for I-485) comes up, then she will have to leave the shores of the U.S., go back to India, wait until she gets the Green Card over there and then return to the U.S. to join her spouse (lot of uncertainties)!

c)    Neither Permanent Residents can marry those who are in the U.S. on L1, J1, G4 and B1-B2 visas, because of limitations those other visas place in their transferability, in matrimony to H1B visa holders and to Permanent Residents and even U.S. citizens.

d)   Permanent Residents in the U.S. are thus limited to seeking out safely other Permanent Residents in the U.S. or can safely seek out  U.S. Citizens, because they have now demonstrated to them (to the U.S. citizen brides) that they are “here to stay” permanently for good, which feeling they were NOT radiating as long as they were on H1B.  From this perspective, U.S. citizens are ready to embrace Permanent Residents.

e) Brides who are on a H1B are hesitant to court bridegrooms who are also on H1B, like themselves, fully knowing that they face an "exit prospect" from the U.S. in such matrimony!

​You have to be careful in approaching those, who are on a straight H1B visa, (who are not transitioning to a GC (H1B-GC)​ ​- because those who are particularly into their second term of H1B (not having been sponsored for a Green Card) will be seeking out exit options to relocate back to India and or to other countries.​  If you seek those prospects in matrimony, you should be ready and willing to relocate to where the boy goes ~

Not all bridegrooms who are U.S. citizens, are willing first to step up to those who are here on H1B visas in the U.S. because they feel there are cultural barriers to overcome between them, born and raised in the USA and those who are here in the U.S., born and raised in India ~​ nonetheless, you can reach out to some U.S. citizens, and see, if they are ready to step up to your profile.

All of the profiles of boys who are on a straight H1B are identified as such www.ads4matri.com;  none of the other web portals even come close to identifying the visa status of brides and grooms, like we do.  They simply classify them as "Work Permit" leaving every one to "guess their visa status"~ those who are transitioning from H1B into a GC are identified as H1B-GC. Those who are permanent residents, are identified as Permanent Residents/GCs.  U.S. citizens are identified as US Citizens; other visa holders such as J1, L1, F1 are also identified as such.  You have to have careful in reaching out to J1, L1 visa holders, as they too are exiting the U.S. (back to India or other countries) when their visa term expires.

PhDs who have graduated from the U.S., on the other hand, can "write their own ticket" to sponsor themselves for their own Green Cards (they do not need an employer sponsorship) - many PhDs in our database are on H1B and are waiting to get married before they move ahead with their own green card filing, because they can then include their spouse into their filing, and that way, both of them can get the green cards at the same time.  Beware of PhDs coming from India and other countries, identified as J1 visa holders, as this category of people cannot file for their own Green Card in the U.S. because they have a PhD from another foreign country.

So, U.S. citizens, Green Cards, H1B-GCs, or PhDs are your best prospects as you begin to reach out to them, if you have an interest in settling down permanently in the U.S.  Otherwise, the world is your Oyster!

If you have any concerns or questions regarding the issues presented above, please feel free to write to us.
HELP US TO SERVE YOU BETTER!

WISHING A WEDDING CELEBRATION IN YOUR FAMILY SOON!Team - ads4matri.com
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